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fancy sh!t

A draw interpretation of Simon standing holding a bunch of bananas

Catering - fancy sh!t

STRIKE THROUGH !!! currently catering is in hiatus while I get on with a little charity and a new business , I'll be back ......unkess I get really rich in which case, I wont :) 

Hey! I'm old but I still cook. As they say; weddings, parties, anything. Corporate, demos whateff. The catch?.... 

There are NO MENUS, we sit, you tell us the brief and then I get on the phone and get the VERY BEST produce that love, bribery, wrangling and money can buy and craft a menu around that.

FAQ's

Is the food nice?

Hell yes! I have a crack crew (not a crew on crack!) and I am actually there cooking for a few days prep and at the event. Huh you say? Well it's not some hoo-ha corporate getup where I just roll in at the last minute to sprinkle magic dust on the food and shout at the cooks to impress you, it's a little more real than that.

Can you cook for more people than me and my mum?

Um, yeah, the good thing about hotel training is you do about 1200 covers (meals) a day so name a number, I'll do it.

Will it be expensive?

Probably, nothing comes out of a box; everything is made from scratch, tailored to guest likes, NO SHORTCUTS on produce period. You will be getting produce that is at the height of season, ethically the best raised animals I can lay my hands on (I have a bunch of brilliant suppliers) and local is a bloody given, we mean it no matter the cost.

Where do you cook?

I've done gigs in Russia, China, Malaysia, Japan, The United States of Craziness, Interstate, Regional Australia, and a number of venues around Adelaide (that we have relationships with), your back yard or kitchen - heck, a laneway if you want. I do anywhere, "Have suitcase plane / van, and will travel!" We have built kitchens in the maddest places...

I thought you were a fancy ex corporate hotel chef, what about "normal people food”?

Yeah OK I was a fine dining chef, a butcher, and a hotel exec chef for a long time but before that I was in wham bam Asian restaurants in Melbourne for a number of years in the 80's doing (mainly) Thai and Indian. One of my other long gigs was with that famous Chinese Malaysian Chef fella (Cheong Liew) so anything from.... hawker street food wokked to order, to convivial platters of  lovingly thrown together rustic stuff, to ridiculous multiple course menus of classic fancy stuff with unpronounceable menu names, whatever.

Why is your social media not filled with stuff like food porn shots /meeting important people at these "fancy events" (and non-usefull info on products that people are paying you to pretend you use )?

yeah , um the web designer put the buttons down the bottom of the website so I s'pose I'm meant to post stuff but I can't remember the log ins , that said some events require you to post so I get someone to put something inane up to tick that box , but in moments of madness I'll put something up and I'm esp super happy to help a charity I'm involved with with a post so I'll try harder to stay on top of that .

nb I guess if you want to pay someone a bag of cash to promote your product you'd be better off getting someone better looking with out to many clothes on  'casue that way more people would buy your product - frankly I'd rther put pins in my eyes than endorse another thing you dont really need to cook nice ( my kitchen product reccos here and they're not complicated ) 

 

If you are so fancy and your food's so expensive how come you weren't on MasterChef?

Um ? I have a real job? and I'm not a Master ! ..read this and get really angry with me :) The internet was only invented so you can misdirect all of your yet to be professionly assigned and catergorised RAGE at strangers whenever you feel mildly affronted . Therapy is expensive , why bother when you can driveby spray all that rage for FREE and get a soothing release when your blood pressure finally plummets ....its like an post fructose coma from junk food - both are a bargain IMO..

 

 

Here's some Pretty pics from What i've served up before..... Just so you know I'm legit! 

flashy cocktail type stuff

adelaide  |  metricon launch  
risotto abs creative
prawn abs creative
metricon abs creative
cornichon abs creative
abs creative
brioche dog abs creative
choc orange abs creative